You would never guess it, but this is the face of a former biter.
Her nickname: Piranha.
Her bite: Quick, sharp and determined.
Yes, something that parents dread had happened to us. Our daughter was the classroom biter at day care. Her biting was rarely mean-spirited, and it was way more frequent than we would have liked. Some weeks, it would be so bad that that when I would pick her up from day care my first question would be “did she bite today?”
My husband and I started paying close attention to when she bit and tried to make sense of why she was biting so that we could try to avoid it. Her biting cycle came up on and off for more than 12 months, so we learned a lot during that time. Now, when other parents ask for my advice when their child bites, I encourage them to think about the following questions:
- Is something else going on that is making your child want to bite? Piranha typically bit when she was cutting a tooth. As soon as the tooth was through, she ceased biting.
- When is your child biting? We noticed that Piranha was more likely to bite when she was tired or hungry, so we tried to stay ahead of schedule with snacks, meals and naps. She would also bite when she didn’t get her way or another child had something she wanted.
- Who is your child biting? While Piranha didn’t exclusively bite one person, she did bite me and her brother most frequently. Our pediatrician said this was probably because she was most comfortable with us.
If your child is a biter, do your best to keep a close eye on her to help prevent a bite before it happens. We had many close calls with Piranha and her brother where we would literally lift her away as she was bending to bite his arm or leg. At daycare, the teachers always were sure to be extra close to her, especially during those teething/increased biting periods.
If your child is in day care, communication with her teachers is so important. Be sure to ask if she bit or tried to bite any friends during the day, how they were disciplined, etc. It is very important to be consistent at home and at day care. We would also talk to Piranha before school, reminding her to be gentle with her friends and not to bite.
What to do when your child bites
Biting happens. Instead of yelling or making a big deal out of it, which will just give a toddler the attention she desires, try these responses:
- Remove your child from the situation.
- Explain that teeth aren’t for biting people, they are for biting food. (We love the books No Biting and Teeth are Not for Biting.) Also talk about how biting hurts our friends and we should never bite.
- Encourage your child that if her teeth are hurting, to ask for a teether. Piranha would say, “ice, ice” when her teeth were bothering her.
- Have your child say they are sorry, hug who they bit, help them hold ice on the bite (if necessary), etc.
Also, I can’t stress enough the importance of talking with your pediatrician, who will also be able to provide counsel and wisdom.
Some people will tell you, just bite ‘em back! That seems illogical. A toddler who bites cannot be taught not to bite by being bitten. Toddlers take cues from their environment and by following the example of others, so if an adult bites them, how can this teach them that it is wrong to bite?
Having a child who bites is challenging, but they do grow out of it. Our daughter is now 2 and rarely bites. Be patient with yourself and your child. It does get easier.
Was your child a biter? Do you have any tips to stop biting?
Jessica Turner is part of Vanderbilt’s social media team. She loves spending time with her family, memory keeping and blogging on her popular lifestyle blog, The Mom Creative.