As I was being whisked away for an emergency Caesarean, my mom grabbed her phone to take a quick photo. In those moments my mind darted back to my earlier conversation with my OB about the likelihood that I would be having a premature delivery. In my mind, that meant a week or two early, but certainly not 10 weeks. It was all happening so quickly.
I remember there was a lot of noise in the OR after my delivery, but no baby crying. As my eyes filled with tears, a tiny cry came from across the room. It was my tiny baby girl, Madeline. After what felt like an hour, someone said, “Ms. Wright, watch as we go by so you can see your baby”. I saw a beautiful little baby who was tightly wrapped in a blanket. Then in the blink of an eye she was gone. In that moment my entire body filled with joy because my precious baby girl was alive. My tears continued to flow but they were now tears of joy!
The attending pediatrician was very pleased with her weight of 3 pounds. Was he kidding? He actually said that 3 pounds was a good size. It just didn’t make sense to me.
I wasn’t able to go see my little girl right away so feelings of anger and frustration overcame me and I just kept thinking of how she needed me. I needed to see that she was OK. The day after Maddie was born, she had to undergo her first surgery. All I could do was pray.
After Maddie’s surgery, they wheeled me over to the NICU to see her. She was in an incubator with tubes and wires all over her tiny body. Her fresh wound from surgery and ostomy bag didn’t bother me. I found myself sobbing, thanking God for her life. She was my miracle.
Over the next few years, Maddie had more than a dozen hospital stays and multiple surgeries. Along the way we gained something special. You see, when you watch your child suffer from pain and sickness, you end up spending more time with the nurses than your own family while in the hospital. You watch your child form bonds and relationships with others that leave an imprint. This is my sunshine on those dark and cloudy days.
I’ve learned over the years that there tends to be a unique trait among children with life-threatening diseases. They tend to grow up faster than “typical” kids. People always say that Maddie is a child with an old soul. She is wise beyond her years and has an amazing gift from God to make people laugh and smile. From babies to 90 year-olds, she spreads her love and compassion.
I truly believe that part of Maddie’s sweet, sensitive, compassionate and loving personality stems from the trials she’s endured since birth. They have shaped her, and will continue to, throughout her life. She isn’t just a miracle to me or to my family but to the people we cross paths with every day.
My words will never be able to fully express how wonderful the nurses, doctors, care partners and even the cleaning crew are to us on every visit. Whether it’s a doctor’s appointment or an inpatient stay, I know that she is loved and cherished.
We are grateful for Monroe Carell Jr. Children’s Hospital at Vanderbilt for making our lives a little more pleasant and a whole lot sunnier!
Written by Maddie’s mom Leanne Wright